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bearholdt:

Fact: blankets keep you safe at night. We dont know what from, but they are definitely an immunity against something.

tribehybrid said: i feel bad but this is hilarious :P can you cancel your order and re-do it?

NO THEY WERE ALREADY DELIVERED

that’s how I realized I fucked up, because they were supposed to arrive today and I looked up the tracking and then I had a heart attack and I am now telling you this from beyond the grave.

mylovetriangle said: What in God’s name are “dick eggs”???

They’re these textured silicone eggs with lube in them and you put your dick in them. They are wank eggs.

FUCK

MOTEHRFUCKER

I ORDERED THESE DICK EGGS FOR EASTER

BECAUSE IT THOUGHT IT’D BE CUTE

BUT I ACCIDENTALLY CHECKED “SHIP TO BILLING ADDRESS”

YOU KNOW WHAT MY BILLING ADDRESS IS?

MY DAD’S HOUSE

I SENT MY FUCKING DICK EGGS TO MY DAD’S HOUSE

FUUUUUUU

They discovered that when the insects have sex, the female’s gynosome is inserted into the male after it becomes erect. Once the female has penetrated the male, her gynosome inflates, releasing a set of spines that can be used to keep the male from escaping. The sex lasts forty to seventy hours.

The researchers found the spines when they tried to physically separate two insects while they were copulating. “Pulling apart coupled specimens,” they write, “led to separation of the male abdomen from the thorax without breaking the genital coupling.” In other words, they tore the male right in half. It showed that the female can hold tightly onto the male. That’s an important ability for insects that need to remain in coitus for as long as two or three days.

With the male firmly in place, the gynosome is ready to receive the sperm. But that’s not all they get: the males also deliver what are called “seminal gifts,” nourishing packets of nutrients that help the females survive in the food-deprived cave environment in which they live.

avengenerds-assemble:

pantydragon:

Remember like three nights ago when I was drunk and we played fmk? Yeah, apparently when I take drunk selfies my human shell dissipates and you can see that I am actually hellspawn.

no you are a cutie pie

I think you are under the impression that “cutie” and “hellspawn” are mutually exclusive but they definitely are not.

avengenerds-assemble:

pantydragon:

Remember like three nights ago when I was drunk and we played fmk? Yeah, apparently when I take drunk selfies my human shell dissipates and you can see that I am actually hellspawn.

no you are a cutie pie

I think you are under the impression that “cutie” and “hellspawn” are mutually exclusive but they definitely are not.

mmmagpie:

comic-loki:

mmmagpie:

unnecessaryhorns:

The Power of CHEESE.

I go nuts looking at these panels because I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HE’S EATING. 

I think that cheese is acceptable. What type do you think it is? I vote smoked gouda. 

I think it may be ham or sth, possibly. He wouldn’t just eat the cheese. Would he..? Since he loves bacon that much, my guess would be: MEAT. 

Yeah, meat is more likely, but I do like the idea of Loki eating a whole block of swiss or something lol.

As a side note, the more I look at that last panel, the more concerned I become.

For absolutely no reason I have become convinced that he is eating cubes of uncooked yam.

Remember like three nights ago when I was drunk and we played fmk? Yeah, apparently when I take drunk selfies my human shell dissipates and you can see that I am actually hellspawn.

Remember like three nights ago when I was drunk and we played fmk? Yeah, apparently when I take drunk selfies my human shell dissipates and you can see that I am actually hellspawn.